rebbermade

LITTLE CHANGES THAT OVERWHELM



Today was rough for some reason. Perhaps it was what felt like a lack of sleep but was really too much. Calder and I went to bed at 7 the night before and had a restless morning of me trying to get him back to sleep after first waking at 4:30 and then nursing, sleeping, nursing, sleeping in fits and spurts until 9:30. I should just get up, but it's not what I want to do at the time. I think it would be better, though, and give me a chance to tempt him into a late morning nap instead of lingering in bed for so long.

We had our first Mommy and Baby yoga class at the Yoga Center downtown. The other classmates were Amy and Oliver and Amanda and Daisy. The instructor, Nancy, was very nice. A gentle, loving lady who was good with the babies when they got fussy. Who knows if this type of class will work out with a ~5 month old, but it was a calm place to be with friends and our babies attempting to do some yoga that occasionally involved a baby. Calder was okay on the blanket with his ball and Skwish, for a time, but part way through we opted for a good feed in lieu of a total meltdown, and Nancy set me up in Queen's pose(?) with loads of bolsters, blankets, and sandbags which was a very comfortable nursing posture.

I'm beginning to ache and be sad about how fast time is going by with my baby. I am blown away by his recent developmental leaps. He is so present, aware. I worry that I'm not giving him enough to match his potential. I should read to him more. We should go on more walks. It amazes me how easy it is to spend the entire day inside. I've read many other blogger's efforts at New Year's resolutions and didn't, at the time, have anything to declare. Well, it's the first year of Calder's life and I resolve to make raising him with love and mindful, engaged mothering my number one priority.